Delay ejaculation: practical ways to last longer and stay in control

Want to last longer without losing the moment? You don't always need a prescription. Simple, proven actions can add minutes and reduce anxiety. Below are clear, usable steps you can try tonight—no jargon, just what works.

First, know why it happens. Quick ejaculation can come from anxiety, sensitivity, a history of rushing sex, or certain medicines. It can also be linked to relationship stress or new partners. Identifying the reason helps you pick the right fix.

Hands-on techniques that actually work

Start-stop and squeeze are two simple moves you can practice alone or with a partner. With start-stop, stimulate until you feel close, stop, wait 20–30 seconds, then start again. The squeeze method means pressing the head of the penis (where it meets the shaft) for a few seconds at the moment before you ejaculate to reduce urgency. Do both a few times during sex or during practice sessions to learn your body’s signals.

Another practical tip: change speed and position. Slower, shallower thrusts reduce overstimulation. Try positions where you feel less direct pressure—side-by-side or her-on-top can help you last longer while keeping intimacy alive. Also, focusing on kissing and foreplay lowers performance pressure.

Exercises, condoms and simple tools

Pelvic floor exercises (Kegels) strengthen the muscles that control ejaculation. Contract your pelvic floor for 3–5 seconds, relax 3–5 seconds, repeat 10 times, three times a day. Over weeks you’ll notice better control. Combine Kegels with deep, slow breathing when you feel tension rising—this calms your nervous system and slows things down.

Condoms reduce sensation and can add time. Try thicker condoms or those labeled for delaying ejaculation. Some topical creams or sprays with mild numbing agents work too—apply sparingly and follow product instructions to avoid numbing your partner.

If you pair methods—breathing, Kegels, and start-stop—you’ll often see fast improvement without meds.

When meds help: short-term and medical options

If behavioral tricks aren’t enough, talk with a doctor. Dapoxetine is a short-acting medication approved in many places to delay ejaculation; you take it before sex. Regular antidepressants (SSRIs) can also delay ejaculation but are taken daily and have side effects. Some men use topical anesthetics or, in specific cases, erectile dysfunction drugs to help. Only start medication after a medical check and a discussion about interactions and side effects.

See a doctor sooner if the change is sudden, if sex becomes painful, or if you feel depressed or disconnected. A healthcare provider can check for medical causes, review medicines you’re on, and suggest the best path—therapy, meds, or a mix.

Small steps add up. Try one new technique for a few weeks, track what helps, and be open with your partner. Sex is a team sport—most couples find better results when they try techniques together and keep talking. You can get control back, often with simple, practical changes you can start this week.